White people, it’s time to get awkward.

To my friends who are white. Like many, I have felt like I cant find the words to express my hatred for racism. But what I am realizing is that it’s not that I cant FIND the words to express , its that it’s NOT words that WILL express it. It is action in real life, not on facebook or Twitter, or Instagram. I’m seeing a lot of white people posting on Facebook about how outraged they are, and I get it, I am too. I am outraged at the torturous, hunting down like prey, murders of people of color that continue to go on in this country, but I dont know how to do anything about it. Posting my opinion on social media, reposting people of colors posts, is not enough. I’m begging you if you have posted your opinion about this issue but not fully submerged yourself in making a phone call or reaching out to your friends personally who are of color, you are being tricked into being silent, even with your outraged posts. Our posts on Facebook or Instagram are not enough. They are good, but dont stop there. Ask your friends of color “How can I help you feel supported in this?” I’m sure none of them would say “blow up your opinion on facebook,that’ll show you care.” Being raised in a white home, we were taught to not be racist. Which I get it, but it’s not enough. Yes not being racist is good, but we dont get an award for it, we shouldn’t be proud of it. It’s the lowest form of action of not being racist. Im not trying to shame, but it is embarrassing. I’m learning that I am embarrassed to talk about what I can do, because I’ve done nothing. And that’s ok. In my crazy mind I just want to hug every person of color that I see. Or I just want to scream in Target “IF YOUVE GOT A PROBLEM WITH ANY PERSON OF COLOR IN HERE MEET IN THE PARKING LOT LETS DO THIS!!” Both of which would be highly inappropriate, but I’m just being honest. My heart is shredded in two knowing what people of color might go through when they send their kids out the door every day. I have sobbed because I feel like I dont know how to do anything that matters because I’m not an activist. But it’s that trap of the devil. The same trap he uses that convinces us that we shouldn’t share the Gospel, the devil says, “no one will listen, you’re not important enough to make a difference, people will laugh at you, you dont understand racism you have white privilege, you’re just fill in the blank and on and on and on” and we buy it. So we do nothing.

We can do more than not being racist. I have tried to reach out and ask questions the best I can, and I think that’s where we start. Although I’m not changing much on a huge scale, I know God is working when I step out of my comfort zone and into other people’s pain. I know for a lot of my white friends you feel the same way. This post is to encourage you in making phone calls, go to your neighbors house and say I’m heartbroken and want you to know I’m here for you and I dont know how to help you. Be awkward in the name of Christ the Comfortor, our Counselor. Be awkward in the fight against racism. I have been advised by friends of color to call certain phone numbers for Minneapolis PD, the Minneapolis department of Justice and email the district attorney for Minneapolis, also to call and write my local authorities to see how to get body cams on police officers locally. I’ve been advised to educate myself about crimes against people of color so I am familiar with them. I’m talking to my kids and asking if they feel led to do anything. This post isnt meant to shame my white friends or even to say I have all answers. This post actually feels embarrassing. I’m just trying to change how we see racism as white people who are not racist. If any friends who are of color have any other ways to help us support you, please comment. This is an embarrassing post, but felt maybe it would encourage more support. And if you are finding as you read this that you dont have friends that are of color…..you need to go get some, that would be a great place to start. It sounds so weird to say that but it’s TRUE. Be awkward friends, it usually leads to love, kindness, and friendship.

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